The English language, as interpreted by 45 and his minions:
failure: used to describe any person or organization that enjoys major success while at the same time making Trump and his administration look bad. See: failing New York Times, failing Saturday Night Live, failing Affordable Care Act.
microwave oven: a tool used by the Obama administration to spy on poor unsuspecting Republicans. Also, a device used to reheat leftover Chinese takeout.
wire tapping: another word for surreptitious surveillance. Should not be confused with "wiretapping."
alternative facts: lies.
misspoke: lied.
press conference: A place designed to have your surrogates lie for you.
Sunday morning news shows: a great place to test your lying, denying and deflecting skills.
I was joking: Used after making a threaten, after being accused of threatening someone.
crowd size: a metaphor for penis size. It is important for some men to have their crowd size described as "yuge."
Twitter: what to do when you wake up in the middle of the night, can't get back to sleep, and are really pissed off about something.
unfair: describes when a friend or family member is treated negatively by the press, Congress or Nordstrom's.
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